The Contraception of Grief

It's been a while now that I have been studying Theology of the Body. A short while. But a profound while. Very. Profound. While.

For me, I know it will be a life-long study and transformation. I will never have it "mastered" or "know it all". I hope not anyway, for that is a sure sign of death. When something is not growing and expanding, it is dead. But what I can say is that this study of John Paul II's teaching has changed, transformed and saved my life and my religious vocation. I do believe, and I say this often, that this teaching of Theology of the Body will heal the world. I have no doubt about that.

And as I prepare for my fourth intensive course on TOB taking place next week and as I prepare for these days of recollection for women that I will be giving this month, my heart desires to plunge anew into the path of healing, freedom and truth. Truth.

I was awake last night until 2am, nearly finishing the new book by Brian Gail entitled Fatherless.

Folks, you GOTTA read this book. It's set as a fiction story in the 1980's but as you read it now, in 2010, you will realize it is not fiction at all but prophesy of what is and was to come. Profound. It tells the story of what happens when we straddle the fence on the issues of truth, when we don't embrace the true path of authentic discipleship, and when we don't know what our human sexuality is all about because we are too afraid to go there and allow Jesus to come and heal us.

We cannot be afraid. We cannot. We must allow The Truth to come and transform us, from the depths of our souls where He dwells.

As I read this book, and believe me, last night when it was after 1am, my brain was saying "GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!" but my heart was saying "I HAVE to finish this book and see what happens" I am glad i did.

And it seems to me, as I read this book and as I reflect more and more on the path of healing as a woman, i see my own past, my own failings and how i bought into the lie of society. The lie that tells us we can do whatever we want with whomever we want and we will be happy because we are "free". This is a lie from the pits of hell. It brings not life and freedom but death and destruction.

I think as women in particular, as we are entrusted by God with the gifts of guarding and giving life, and as we have such a pivotal role in the participation of the salvation of souls, the attack on us is tremendous. And as I look at my own past and how many of us women bought into the lie, I see that we are selling ourselves out.

We as women are destroying ourselves because we do not know any better. We think there is only one way to be a woman and that way is what society dictates to us. But this is untrue. There is an entirely better and life giving way, and that is the way in which God has gifted us.

In meticulously and profoundly researching for the book Fatherless, Mr Gail drew from a mind blowing resource by Theresa Burke, Ph. D. In her writing entitled, The Contraception of Grief: The Genesis of Anguish Conceived by Abortifacients and Sterilization, Dr. Burke pulls the mask off of society's lie of contraception. She shows clearly and deeply the effects of contraception upon all of society and the great destruction it brings. 

Please click on the link that I have provided above and read her work. You can print it free of charge at the link given. And after you read it, pass it along to your friends, both men and women. As Mr. Gail's book makes so painfully clear and what we read in the Church teachings on sexuality and the evils of contraception is that every time a women uses contraception she is submitting herself to objectification. When her husband insists upon her using contraception, he is using his wife and making her an object of gratification. He ceases to see her as a gift to be received in all her fullness and grasps at parts of her instead.

Whenever we lust, both men and women (although many times the face of lust appears differently on men and women) we use that person and cease to truly love them and ourselves. When we give ourselves over to lust, we destroy the other person and ourselves.

A man addicted to pornography, which is so prolific these days and in dire need of being addressed in love and truth, is a slave to his addiction. He destroys himself, his marriage and family and how he views women. Pornography is not an innocent private act. It is a highly addictive poison that seeps into the brain and heart and causes destruction on every level. We must hope for more. We cannot settle for this total garbage that the world is trying to feed us, especially our young people.

And there is hope. Lots of it. This is what Theology of the Body is all about- the truth about love, the martial embrace, the good news of our sexuality, that within it we find we are gifts meant to be given. Within it we find that we are meant to be united with God for all eternity. We YEARN for this union deep within us, we long for it and many times we get confused on where to go to have our yearnings satisfied. But we need not lose hope.

As we walk this path of authentic love and truth, we are never alone. If you are reading this and you look within yourself and see darkness and feel that you are alone and unloved, you are not. You are loved. You are worth fighting for.

Know your faith, know it and live it in the depths of your heart. The Truth is so beautiful, He will enrapture you and captivate you if you allow Him. And yes, you will suffer and you will have to make hard choices in your life. Life on earth is not perfect. Perfection is not found here. But the reward for this kind of discipleship is freedom and union with eternal Love.

Love is worth fighting for. He has fought for you.


Sr. James! You rock! And you write well! And I'm gonna follow your blog because you follow mine! And I'm a fan! And you are an awesome woman of God! And now I have to read "Fatherless"! And I have to stop using so many exclamation marks! God bless you!
Bill Donaghy said…
Thank you Sr. James! (and that will be MY only exclamation mark ;) What a gift to see you so on fire with TOB, and so concerned for the good of souls. I agree, it's the antidote to the present poison. Please pray for me as I step back into the classroom this semester with nearly 60 teenage boys, hoping to save them from the lies and distortions, and show then the true and BEAUTIFUL face of Woman! (ok, it's hard NOT to use exclamations when talking TOB!)

Peace and Good,
Shana said…
I'm glad I found your blog! I love TOB!

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