Friday, October 29, 2010

Masculinity in Question Part 2

I wrote some time ago about the struggle in society today with the question of manhood and what it means to be a man. Just as women question themselves, men do as well.

And perhaps for men it's more difficult because in many arenas they are not allowed to question, to ask themselves what it really means to be a man, they are just supposed to "know" and so for many men, they swallow the stereotypes that the measure of a man is money, power and women.

A deep lie.

I also mentioned in that previous post about a celebrity couple, in which the husband admitted to having an affair and he mentioned on a nationally known radio show that the affair "made him feel very manly" (his words).

Well, it seems that the truth has come out. The affair did not make him feel manly. It broke my heart to read these words that he spoke concerning this very thing a couple of days ago.

The article about this celebrity man stated that he admitted that he cried when sleeping with someone other than his wife  for the first time.

He says, "After the first girl I slept with ... a few days later ... I was, like, crying," he said. "It was the end of all the intimacy I shared with my wife. It was like a new thing. It was like ... putting that away."

Men, my beloved brothers, there is a better way to live than this. Society tells you that this mentality is the fulfillment of being a male but that is untrue.

God has given you His own heart, the heart of a warrior, a soldier, to ardently seek and nobly pursue the heart of your beloved bride. The deepest aspect of your manhood is your ability and desire to lay down your life, to sacrifice for the good of your Bride-- whether she be a woman or the Church.

When a man takes from his beloved and sacrifices her at the altar of his lusts and disordered desires, he damages her and he emasculates himself. 

There is a better way.

The path of the warrior is difficult and it requires much discipline and battle but it is worth it, the victory, the redemption is so worth it.

This is not a path or a battle you can navigate alone. The Man, Jesus Christ, accompanies you at every moment along your path. You cannot do it without Him. He gives you the strength, the example, the fortitude to fight and be victorious.

All you need to do is ask Him to show you the truth of what it means to be a man. Ask Him to lead you on this journey of manhood at every moment. He will you do this for you, His beloved brothers.

Please know that you have a sister who prays for you, who desires your healing and ardently fights for you on this journey. You are not alone.

May our Mother, Our Lady of Guadalupe, keep you in her heart and under her mantle.

How she loves her cherished sons....

The Only Girl In The World...

The number 5 song on iTunes most downloaded singles is the new song by Rihanna called Only Girl In The World.

When I first heard the song, I liked it a lot, its a fun song but it was the lyrics that really got me. In the chorus she sings the cry of the human heart- the longing for exclusive love-- she sings (and it's yet another example that the desire for lasting and exclusive love is written in the heart of every person)

"Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only girl in the world…
Like I’m the only one that’s in command
Cuz I’m the only one who understands, like I’m the only one who knows your heart, only one…"

Please notice that, contrary to what society tells us- (that we can be with many people in many ways and it doesn't matter because we have no deeper yearnings), Rihanna is singing about wanting to be the only woman in the heart of this man. She wants to be his exclusive love, to give and receive in return in oneness.

She doesn't sing "please love me like all the other women in your life, compare me to them and love me like I'm just another number" for that is not what the human heart desires. And although the entirety of this song has some disordered ideas in it (which is why i am not posting it here), i just wanted to point out the deep truths in the heart that are never extinguished.

Pope John Paul II wrote, “Young people are always searching for the beauty in love. They want their love to be beautiful. If they give in to weakness, following worldly models of behavior…in the depths of their hearts, they still desire a beautiful and pure love. This is as true of boys as it is of girls. Ultimately, they know that only God can give them this love. As a result, they are willing to follow Christ, without caring about the sacrifices this may entail.” 

 Keep seeking for authentic and true love. 

He will be found when we seek Him.

Beautiful Girls Part 2...

Good morning :) A friend of mine sent this to me and I thought it was very beautiful and holy. We live in a world that tells us to hate ourselves, what we look like, and our very being. We are told that we are "too much" or "not enough" but that is untrue.

The antidote for this worldly poison is not more plastic surgery or yet another diet. The antidote is the receiving the truth of who we really are in the eyes of God, the only eyes that matter.....

Bless you, enjoy your day.- Happy Friday

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Life is Sweet and Short

We went to the Seattle Art Museum today to see the Picasso exhibit. There is much to say about that in and of itself but another painting by an entirely different artist from a different era truly caught my eye and captured my heart.

One of the galleries in the museum is entitled Darkness Into Light and it features several paintings done in a sort of  "Caravaggio-style", dramatic uses of light and darkness within the painting.

This painting that caught my eye is not one of Caravaggio but of a Flemish woman (exceeding rare at the time to be a working female artist) named Michaelina Woutiers.

The name of this work is Boys Blowing Bubbles (seen here at right) and I stood there before the painting for quite some time just looking at it. The painting is quiet and deep and peaceful.

Obviously posting it on this small space does not do it justice.

And as I read the explanation of the symbolism of the painting, I pondered it for the rest of the day.

At first glance perhaps the painting is seemingly innocuous, just a moment in time captured of two boys having fun but something deeper in being portrayed.

The bubbles symbolize the fragility of life, that life is beautiful and awe-inspiring but cannot be grasped onto. When one tries to grasp it and hold onto it as one's own, the bubble pops, and it is gone. I think it's fitting that the painting features two young boys, as youth is fleeting and soon passes away.

The candle extinguished in the background is also a symbol that life passes by very quickly and the open book is a symbol that art lasts longer than life.

The painting is somber and serious yet very beautiful and evocative.

There is such profound truth being portrayed here. How much we try to cling to the things of this world, hoping they will sustain us. We grasp at the beauty in this world hoping it will satisfy us at the deepest level and yet as we grasp for these things, they continually elude us.

We are made for something more.

A priest I heard yesterday told a group of high school students, "Don't be afraid of loneliness, don't be afraid of it. Don't seek to fill every lonely moment you have, for in doing this, many people have filled themselves with negative things."

The ache we experience within, the longing and the yearning, are signs of very good things. They are signs that we are made for something more. The pangs remind us that earth is not our final home, but that Love Himself is our resting place and destiny. When we give the longing to God, it becomes redemptive.

Seek the things that are above. Seek Goodness, Truth and Beauty.

St. Augustine said it best, "Our hearts are restless, O God, until they rest in You."

Amen, brother.


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Conspiracy Theory

–noun, plural -cies.
1. the act of conspiring.
2. an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot.

One word: Wow. 

I don't think I have enough space (or enough reader interest) to share all of my thoughts on this amazing and brutally honest work. But I must tell you one thing:

Read this book.

I was astounded at the conspiracy that took place to bring about the legalization of abortion in this country. I deeply commend Dr. Nathanson for his honest reflection of his life leading up to his aggressive promotion and practice of abortion, his transparency of admitting the lies that were propagated in order to sell the general public on the idea of killing the most defenseless members of our society and his humility in asking the deep questions about life, admitting his wrongs and opening his heart to the search for more- the search for Eternal Mercy. God bless him, wow.

I am not a philosopher, a theologian or a literary critic but in this eloquent and thought provoking book, I could see the workings of a deep conspiracy-- a conspiracy of the culture of death. The culture of death that seeks destruction, uses people as a means to an end and discards humanity when it is no longer "useful". 
Ah, it pierced my heart, for this culture of death is alive and well on the planet today and death masquerades as "choice", "dignity", "freedom" but is really the antithesis of these realities. 

The culture of death has its origin in the Father of Lies, the evil one himself. For he is bent on the destruction of humanity, with no other agenda- the complete destruction of humanity. He seeks tools (often us, unwittingly) to advance his cause and if we do not know who we are and the value of every human life (including our own) then it's easy to let arrogance cloud our minds and darken our hearts. 
We forget that there is a God, and we are not Him.

If we do not know who we are and what it means to be a man or a woman, our knowledge or lack thereof will not remain in a vacuum. This is not a matter of "well, I don't know much about my faith and who i am, but oh well, I'm not really a religious person, its not a big deal."

Oh, my friends. it is a HUGE deal. For if we do not know the truth of who we are from the One who loves us, then we will believe the lie of who we are not from the one who seeks to destroy us. 

This is a battle of eternal life and death. We cannot remain ignorant of our image and likeness, our identity and dignity. For when we know who we are and live that truth that flows from our hearts, it CHANGES EVERYTHING. 

As dark as the world seems today and as intensely as the battle rages, all is not lost. In fact, we know who wins the battle. 

You see, God has, what I would say, His own conspiracy. But this is not a conspiring between people for an unholy purpose, far from it. This is a love conspiracy-- perhaps better stated as a transformative secret. 

The conspiracy of God is merciful redemption. He whispers merciful redemption to every dark corner of our heart and soul. His merciful love knows no bounds, seeks to heal us in our wounds, and brings about our deepest freedom and dignity. 

Love never fails. Merciful redemption never fails.

There is a solution to sin. The solution is not death but merciful redemption. The solution to sin is Jesus, the Divine Physician.

Our God is the Father of Life, Love and Peace. He is the Father of Goodness, Truth and Beauty.

We must allow Love to reveal to us who we REALLY are. It is Jesus who reveals us to ourselves and He ardently desires to do this. 

Ask Him. Ask Him to whisper His secret in your heart. 

The more we allow this merciful redemption and the truth of who we are to penetrate our hearts, the more we are transformed and the more true love comes into the world through our hearts.

As the gospel speaks of today, when we are open to God in humility, He redeems us. And as we are redeemed, so the world is redeemed.

Love never fails.

Sr. Miriam's November Speaking Schedule *Updated*

Howdy folks, here is the November speaking schedule-

Thursday November 4th- Kennedy High School, Vocations Panel, AM

Saturday November 6th- Holy Family Kirkland, Family Life Conference, afternoon TOB Presentations to Junior and Senior High School students

Sunday November 7th- Bellevue Community College, Archdiocesan Youth Conference, 9am Keynote Address on Transformation in Christ, 10:15am Mega Workshop on Discernment

Saturday November 20th- Monroe, WA, Discernment Retreat for UW, afternoon

Friday, October 22, 2010

Puffy Taco Trauma

You may have heard (okay, you probably haven't) that in the history of the San Antonio Missions minor league baseball team, there has been only one child, ONE, who has ever failed to take down their mascot, Henry the Puffy Taco (seen here in deep thought)

At every game, a young, bright eyed youth is chosen among the screaming throng to RACE THE PUFFY TACO to home plate.

Alas, every child but one, ONE, has tackled the seemingly helpless taco along the third base line before Henry the Puffy Taco reaches home.

Who knows what happened that fateful night when a young Randolph Neuenfeldt failed to pounce upon the squishy entree. Were dreams shattered? Was hope lost?

No longer.

Now as a grown man, Mr. Neuenfeldt was invited back to conquer the one serving he let pass by....would he prevail?

Would he finally conquer the Puffy Taco Test?


Would he suffer Puffy Taco Trauma forever?

Watch with anticipation.......

Dream big, folks. Dream big.

National Catholic Register Article

I would like to thank my friend Trent Beattie for writing such a kind and gracious article about yours truly that appears in this week's National Catholic Register. 

I think this photo of my college days captures my likeness very well :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

You're My Beloved...

I LOVE this song by 10th Avenue North entitled, "Beloved". It brings tears to my eyes whenever i hear it. This is the love we are all longing for and it tells me that the person who wrote this song has a very deep interior life.

You are beloved, forever and always.

10th Avenue North will be performing live in Seattle tomorrow night at the Mars Hill Church, Ballard.

Drink this truth in and live!!

Who Said Slavery Was Dead?

Another jarring reminder that slavery is alive and well in the world. In the year 2000, the buying and selling of humans was the 3rd largest money maker in the world, following drugs and guns.

If there was ever a time for Theology of the Body, that time is now.

N.Y. Sex Traffickers Branding Girls, D.A. Says


Here is a deep song by Ray Lamontagne. It's a song for the mature and it's called "Empty."

He sings of the yearning for "more." Many times in life we can be "full" of everything we think we will satisfy us and we still feel something lacking within. This "ache", this yearning, is for God. We yearn for more than this world can give us, and that's how it's supposed to be. We only reap frustration and pain when we continually try to stuff ourselves with things of the world, expecting them to quench the "fire inside."

Will we always feel this way? Only temporarily.

Eternal satisfaction is close at hand.



She lifts her skirt up to her knees,
walks through the garden rows with her bare feet, laughing.
I never learned to count my blessings,
I choose instead to dwell in my disasters.
I walk on down the hill,
through grass, grown tall and brown
and still its hard somehow to let go of my pain.
On past the busted back of that old and rusted Cadillac
that sinks into this field, collecting rain.
Will I always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged.

And of these cut-throat busted sunsets,
these cold and damp white mornings
I have grown weary.
If through my cracked and dusted dime-store lips
I spoke these words out loud would no one hear me?
Lay your blouse across the chair,
let fall the flowers from from your hair
and kiss me with that country mouth, so plain.
Outside, the rain is tapping on the leaves,
to me it sounds like they're applauding us the the quiet love we made.
Will I always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged.

Well I looked my demons in the eyes,
laid bare my chest, said "Do your best, destroy me.
You see, I've been to hell and back so many times,
I must admit you kind of bore me."
There's a lot of things that can kill a man,
there's a lot of ways to die,
listen, some already did that walked beside me.
There's a lot of things I don't understand,
why so many people lie.
Its the hurt I hide that fuels the fire inside me.
Will I always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged.

The Lover Seeks the Beloved

I came across this song a couple of days ago. Yet another secular example of the deep desire to find the Beloved and please the Beloved. We may continually fall short, but we desire an all consuming love and knowledge of the Beloved, a small spark of the THE perfect love we yearn for. Love it!

"I Wanna Know"

Yeah, oh yeah
Alright, oh, oh, oh

It's amazing how you knock me off my feet, hmm
Everytime you come around me I get weak, oh yeah
Nobody ever made me feel this way, oh
You kiss my lips and then you take my breath away
So I wanna know

[1] - I wanna know what turns you on
So I can be all that and more
I'd like to know what makes you cry
So I can be the one who always makes you smile

Girl he never understood what you were worth, hmm no
And he never took the time to make it work
(You deserve more loving, girl)
Baby I'm the kind of man who shows concern, yes I do, oh
Anyway that I can please you let me learn
So I wanna know

[Repeat 1]

[2] - Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I'll do
Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it's true

[Repeat 2]

I wish that I could take a journey through your mind, alright
And find emotions that you always try to hide babe, oh
I do believe that there's a love you wanna share, oh, oh
I'll take good care of you lady, have no fear, oh
So I wanna know

[Repeat 1]

[Repeat 2 (2x)]

[Repeat 1 till end]

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Seen on the Streets....

Seen on the billboards of Seattle:
Planned Parenthood adspace soliciting MONEY (because $1 billion in revenues at the cost of millions of human lives apparently isn't enough) featuring a picture of two young, smiling women- one a "doctor", the other a supposed "patient" together with HUGE WORDS:


For once, I couldn't agree more.

Read more about the truth of racism and planned parenthood at

Monday, October 18, 2010

Beautiful Girls...

What is beauty?

It's scientifically proven that beauty, symmetry, holds our attention longer than asymmetry. Babies stare at pictures of beautiful people longer than they look pictures of "unattractive" people. And perhaps when we think of beauty, the crown of beauty on earth is the beauty of a woman.

Jason Evert, in his book Theology of His/Her Body, explains this reality when he says that women are the earthly reflection of Divine Beauty. He says that one day we will meet God, Eternal Beauty, face to face but until that time, women are the visible creation of Divine Beauty, so it's no wonder that we find women so attractive.

Bishop Fulton Sheen would often encourage young women to practice what he called an "Apostolate of Beauty". He told young women that they have a very powerful gift of beauty that has been given to them by God and that they can use that gift to bring people to God.

And it is, just as with any other gift, women can use their beauty to heal and bring the hearts of men closer to God, or they can use that gift to destroy and divide, taking the hearts of men away from God and toward themselves, or worse, toward sin. And don't we all misuse our gifts at times.

So, what does it mean to be truly beautiful? That is the question in the heart of every women, "Am I beautiful? Am I desirable?" just as in the heart of every man lies the questions of "Am I strong enough? Do I have what it takes?"

Is beauty merely a physical attribute to be cherished and worshiped by the world? When a woman is past the age of "physical attractiveness", does that mean she ceases being beautiful? The world says "yes"-- hence the obsession with looking youthful but the Truth says "no"-- our beauty is far more than something mere physical.

So, what is the secret. It took me a long time to really delve into this because i too, for so many years- especially growing up- bought into the lie that a woman has to look like a "Barbie doll" to be considered attractive and beautiful, and so, boy, did I strive for that when I was young.

However, as I grow in my life, I find that there is something far deeper than that. Bishop Fulton Sheen gets at the matter when he says "The beauty on the outside never penetrates within but the beauty within radiates on the face."

For us, as women, to really understand, value and give the gift of our beauty, we have to go to the one who is All Beautiful. We have to go to our Mother Mary, the most beautiful woman ever created. Why was she so beautiful? I am sure she was probably physically attractive but that's just the tip of the iceberg.

The real reason why she is so beautiful is because she is full of grace. Dr. Michael Waldstein remarks that grace/glory is the Divine peak of beauty. I love that.

So when I look at Our Mother, I see how she radiates beauty. Her beauty is not something "in your face" or a "hey, look at me, I am so beautiful" but her beauty emanates from her and she always, always brings us back to Jesus. Always.

Her beauty heals us and always brings us back to Jesus, never to herself. I think there is answer. At least, that's the answer I found in my heart.

So we as women needn't compete and compare ourselves with other women. We needn't be slaves to passing fads or mutilate our bodies in order to be considered attractive.

It takes a lot of courage to live real beauty. It takes a lot of courage to let true beauty shine from the depths of our souls and radiate upon our faces, but this is the kind of beauty that is God given, this is the dignity of our beauty.

This kind of beauty heals the world and brings souls to Jesus.

Let the healing begin.

Love Will Save The Day

Here's a little blast from the past with a great message.

Happy Monday :)


Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry

You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Herald what your mother said
Read the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My oh my heh, hey

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Don't ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can't stop it, if you try to
This time it's danger staring you in the face
Oh oh oh Remember
Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
My oh my heh, hey, hey

You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know,
Love will save the day

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Masculinity in Question....

Since studying the Theology of the Body, I have had the amazing experience of learning more and more what it means to be a woman and what it means to be a man. In society it seems like there is so much confusion as to what these realities truly reveal. There is such deep questioning around masculinity and femininity.

Case in point:

This week I was reading about a celebrity couple who recently announced their separation as a couple. After this announcement was made, the next morning, the celebrity husband was a guest on a radio show and admitted to having an affair with another woman while still married to his celebrity wife.

but what really broke my heart was his comment about the affair. He said, "The affair made me feel very manly."

ah. wow. talk about deep questions--

what does it mean to be a man? What is a "real man"? is the measure of a man how many women he "conquers"?

Why is pornography the number one addiction in America today? Yes, you read that correctly, pornography is the number one addiction in America today- not alcohol, not drugs- pornography.

Pornography is insidious on a number of levels. Probably the biggest lie that pornography purports is that it is "harmless" and "doesn't hurt anyone."  On college campuses across America, binge drinking (American college students spent 5.5 BILLION dollars on alcohol last year--more money spent than on textbooks) and pornography go hand in hand.

Often people say, "Oh, boys will be boys, let them have their fun." but that, my dear friends, is a lie.

Pornography is not a harmless pastime, its a scourge from the pits of hell.

What does it do to a man? Pornography emasculates men.


What does pornography do to a man? For starters, because it cripples his ability to love, it robs him of the capacity to be a man. The essence of manhood consists in readiness to deny oneself for the good of a beloved. This is why Saint Paul reminds husbands in his Letter to the Ephesians that their love must be like that of Christ, who allowed himself to be crucified for the sake of his beloved, the Church (Eph. 5:21–33).

Pornography defeats this calling. Instead of denying himself for the good of the woman, a man, through the use of porn, denies the woman her dignity in order to satisfy his lust. In essence, pornography is a rejection of our calling to love as God loves. It is no wonder that those who use it are never satisfied. Only love satisfies. One marriage therapist noted, “People who use pornography feel dead inside, and they are trying to avoid being aware of that pain. There is a sense of liberation, which is temporary: that’s why pornography is so repetitive—you have to go back again and again.”

The average age a young person sees internet pornography is 11. America is the biggest exporter of pornography and the industry makes more money than all of the NFL, NBA and MLB combined.

As a man views pornography, chemicals are released in his brain that give him a "high" and hook him to the substance (just like alcohol or drug use) and so as a man (and increasingly more women) enters this world of fantasy (and, indeed, it is pure fantasy, the majority women and men on the sets of pornography production are often drug addicted in order to perform inhumane acts and are often threatened by producers to "act well") and as the "high" begins to wane, he (the consumer) must turn to more explicit material.

One former pornography producer said, "When i went to my first "adult industry convention", I saw things that turned my stomach but by the end of my career as a producer, I found those very things boring."

In the wake of this addiction and viewing habits, the man's family, marriage and personal life suffer and can ultimately die.

This same former producer commented, "I was in charge of recruiting new girls for our company and when they first began "working" for us, they were happy and smiling, but within a few weeks or months, as they did more and more shoots and more hardcore things, I saw the light in their eyes die. I saw their soul die. And I saw mine die as well."

The average age of death of a worker in the sex industry is 37. Lust destroys everyone involved, the producers, actors and consumers. It destroys marriages, families and children. Unfortunately, also, many people are afraid to speak about this deep scourge of pornography.

But we must address this reality in love and truth for there IS hope, and there IS help and there IS the POWER of REDEMPTION. Many men are coming forward now and talking about their addiction and receiving healing and freedom. They are learning what it means to be a real man. That the heart of a man is a warrior, a soldier, one who defends and protects and gives his life for his beloved.

The measure of a man is Jesus Christ. That is a very, very beautiful thing.

If you struggle with pornography (even if you are telling yourself right now "I just look at it every now and then, I don't have a problem"), I beg you to please seek freedom. We use addictions to hide our pain or mask emotions or trauma that we don't want to deal with. There is a better way to live.

For more information, visit these sites:, Theology of the Body Healing Center (headed by Dr. Bob Schuchts, they give AMAZING men's retreats called "Return to Glory" and have one coming up at the end of this month. They are also presenting a December retreat for married couples), Sexaholics Anonymous (a 12 step program founded on the principles of AA, excellent program).

You are not alone. 

Healing is possible.


You are loved more than you can possibly imagine.

Only Love-

Here's another AMAZING song by Griffin House entitled, Only Love Remains. This song is just beautiful. This is an older clip of a live performance, and the lyrics are below. Deep stuff!

I’ve said so long to the hills of LA
I told that town to get lost
Even if I had the money to stay
Still can’t afford what it cost

From riches to rags
From diamonds to coal
You’ve always seemed better to me
You trade in your silver for the price of my soul
To buy what is already free

All my things melt away
Only love, love remains

My brother is a prince
My father is a king
I was given no crown of my own
So I left the country
And I started to sing
But since then my fortune has grown

All my things melt away
Only love, love remains

In the daylight seems restless in the wounds of a man
His instincts are out of control
He’s so worried about comfort
He spends all of his time
In vain filling space in his soul

All my things melt away
Only love, love remains
All my things melt away
Only love, love remains

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Guy That Says Goodbye To You....

Someone sent me this CD and I heard this song today and i just loved it. It made me smile and I post it for all the ladies out there who feel like they have to change or somehow become "someone else" in order to be "worthy" to receive love. You are beautiful just as you are :)

This song is by Griffin House and its' called, "The Guy That Says Goodbye To You"
(lyrics below)


You don’t need to change a thing about you babe
I’m telling you
From where I sit, you’re one of a kind
Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work you and they make you cry
But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind

Well I been down and I need your help I’ve been feeling sorry for myself
Don’t hesitate to boost my confidence
I been lost and I need direction, I could use a little love-protection
What do you say, honey, come to my defense?

I’ll stand up for you if it’s what you need and I can take a punch, I don’t mind to bleed
As long as afterwards you feel bad for me
And you give me all of your attention I got deep desire and it needs quenchin’
I think that’s pretty plain for you to see

Well, enough about me and more about you cause that’d be the gentlemanly thing to do
I hope you like your men sweet and polite
I thought I was done with telling you but I ain’t nearly halfway through
I got a few more things I’d like to say to you tonight, get ready

You don’t need to change a thing about you babe
I’m telling you
From where I sit you’re one of a kind
Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work out and they make you cry
But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind

You always did kind of drive me crazy and pissed me off ‘cause I let it faze me
But I never wanted my time with you to end
Now I’m back in town for a day or two and mostly I came back just to see you
I’m leaving now but I don’t want to go

You don’t need to change a thing about you babe
I’m telling you
From where I sit you’re one of a kind
Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work out and they make you cry
But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Life as we know it....

Sometimes I am surprised, when reality breaks through in my life, and I see that what I thought to be true, in fact, is not. Many times, not even close.

I have heard many people say something along the lines of "it's not what happens to us that causes problems, but how we interpret what happens to us."

I think there is a certain truth in that. How many of us carry old wounds and lies about God, ourselves and life from our younger years (or even more recently) ? Perhaps someone dies in our life or something very bad happens to us, and as tragic as that is, we often compound the sorrow and darkness by believing the lies that are conveniently placed before us that God isn't good, that He doesn't love us, that we are "damaged goods" etc. - all of these are lies, but many times we make them our reality.

In fact, it seems to me that life is a journey of discovering the truth, wholeness, holiness- integration. As we truly disciple Jesus, we come to be like Him- an authentic, full human being. Jesus came that we might have life and have it to the FULL, not partially or kind-of. Jesus didn't suffer and die upon the Cross to give us coping skills for this life on earth. He suffered and died for us to set us free- in the fullness of mercy and redemption.

True discipleship is not an exterior "show"- like Jesus speaks of to the Pharisees in this week's Gospels. True discipleship is a transformation into Jesus, in mercy, humility and the strength and grace that comes from God.

Life as we know it?

I want to know Him.

Beauty in the morning...

I thought maybe you could use some beauty this morning....

Enjoy :)

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Thank You

I am posting this song by Dido called "Thank You" just because i like it. It reminds me to be grateful for the little things in life and to thank God and others for their blessings.

It seems like we are often most poverty stricken in our gratitude. Ah, that we would be rich in thanksgiving!


The reflection in the Magnifcat the other day (Oct. 5th) was very telling and very true. If i didn't know better, I would think that it was written in this past year but the priest who wrote it passed away in 1934, another telling sign that the heart of humanity remains essentially the same throughout time and place.

The priest wrote a reflection on Martha and Mary, how we often busy ourselves with unnecessary activities and events. How true that is. In an effort to stave off the "ache" within, the ache for eternity and God, we try to fill it with a million things, but really, as I see it in my own life, it's a futile and self-destructive attempt, perhaps kind of like drinking salt water- it appears to satiate our thirst, having the appearance of refreshment, but as we ingest it, it compounds the problem, makes us more thirsty and will eventually make us very ill.

What are we so afraid of, really? I remember in high school and college, I always had to have some noise going on. I either had to have the TV on or the stereo on or be with someone. I couldn't just "be" in the silence and in the quiet and enjoy that without feeling tremendously lonely and alone. I think there is a big difference between "loneliness" and "aloneness."

The quote that I really liked from the priest's reflection was this "this does not mean that we can show our love only by retiring out of the world to the cloister; but it does imply that only those can stand the loneliness of life who have their hearts aflame with the love of another"

and I would like to capitalize Another meaning The Other. For it is only in God that we are truly satisfied and only fully in eternity. How many people in the world are ultimately disappointed when they encounter the lie that another human and "complete them and completely fill them" is merely an illusion? and usually what happens at that point is that they blame the person they are with claiming they are no longer "in love" with that person and move on to find someone else, only to have the whole scenario play out again.

We often look for love in all the wrong places!

In this life we will have times of loneliness, some people more than others. All of us experience a loneliness because we are all made for God and for infinity. But this loneliness, this ache, is not a call to busy ourselves with empty things. This loneliness is a reminder that we are to go beyond ourselves and that we are made for eternity. When we allow Christ to come more deeply into our hearts and souls, our hearts are opened ever more and they resemble His heart little by little. Through the ache, our hearts become larger until they embrace eternity.

Let the silence speak. Be not afraid of what lies within you.

For what lies within you is greater than anything you can possibly imagine.

Jesus, come heal our souls.

Monday, October 04, 2010

Lila Rose Rocks

Lila Rose, the amazing young woman who has exposed Planned Parenthood in its death agenda, has an article in this month's "First Things" magazine. Check it out here.

Lila was also featured on a CNN documentary 2 days ago featuring young "conservatives with a right wing agenda" (lol, gotta love CNN) who are speaking out. The documentary is entitled "Right on the Edge"

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Heard on the streets....

Gotta love Seattle. So there i was, minding my own business this evening walking to my car when a rather intoxicated young couple walked by me gaping. "HEY!" the guy called out "are you REALLY a nun?"

"Yes" I replied, humored by the situation.

"That is so COOL" the guy yelled.

Then his girlfriend whispered something to him as they passed further away and he spoke back in only a way that drunken people speak when they think they are talking quietly, which means, he answered her in full volume-

"NO! We cant give her a beer, she's a nun. She's married to Christ." he cried out.

that was a good one. loved it.

out of the mouths of drunken people....

Friday, October 01, 2010

A Saint for our time...

Here is a COOL article on a young, modern woman, Chiara Badano, who was beatified this week. A beautiful, youthful woman who loved sports and Jesus? now that's what I'm talking about :)

Just breathe.....

speaking of worries! ah, it's easy to forget to just breathe, let things go and keep moving. Many days, many moments in the day, i have to tell myself "just breathe. take a deep breath. everything will be okay"

so here is a beautiful song by Pearl Jam, entitled "Just Breathe". the lyrics are amazing, so deep and profound and i will post them below the video. the video also gives a little shout out to Seattle (Pearl Jam's hometown) and we see evidence that Eddie Vedder is, indeed, left handed :)

enjoy. and....breathe :)

Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh
I’m a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love
Some folks just have one,
Others they got none, aw huh

Stay with me
Let’s just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
Never gonna let me win, aw huh
Under everything, just another human being, aw huh
Yeh, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world
To make me bleed.

Stay with me
You’re all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see
No one knows this more than me
As I come clean

I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw huh
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh
Nothing you would take
Everything you gave

Did I say that I need you?
Oh, Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see

No one know this more than me.
As I come clean

Nothing you would take everything you gave.
Hold me till I die
Meet you on the other side...