Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The Virgin Diaries...
The TLC network aired another installment of the show titled, The Virgin Diaries, which apparently chronicles the lives of several people who are technically virgins. The promo for the current show heavily features Skippy, a 30 year-old mormon man who lives in his parent's basement and collects his own belly button lint. Sweet....
Dr. Drew Pinsky on the HLN network featured a brief interview with Skippy and a woman featured on the show, Karissa, who is virgin as well. While Skippy is saving his virginity because of his religious beliefs, Karissa is waiting because she hasn't found the "right" person yet.
Dr. Drew expressed his concern for Skippy (below left), as to whether Skippy properly desired women, while Dr. Drew's co-host Simone Bienne, asked Karissa if she engaged in "self-pleasure" and enjoying her own body because Bietta claims, "if a person isn't enjoying their own body, they are repressing their desire and if that desire is repressed, it's hard to reverse it."
Yes, yes this is secular television and full of a bunch of nonsense, obviously. But it also speaks to what has become accepted in society.
In this show we find that being a virgin, which they are defining as someone who has not had sexual intercourse, is rare. This is, unfortunately, partially true. What used to be sacred and special has become mundane and something to "get rid of."
Secondly, the only seeming way out of this predicament is by engaging in selfish"self-pleasure" or else a person is repressing their desire.
I think that people long for more than these lonely expressions of sexuality. Who is really happy when they are engaging in pre-marital or exta-marital intercourse, or lamenting their virginity or engaging in masturbation? Our hearts yearn for more than this. We yearn to give ourselves as a gift in a safe and sacred covenant and to receive another as a gift as well. Society can claim that pre-marital sex is okay and "healthy" but no one can change the deep nature of the human heart. We yearn for more and always will. We are made for eternal love.
What is one way we know this to be true? Look around at society and see that we have more "sex" than ever, yet more brokenness than ever. Lust is never the answer. Even in marriage, lust is never the answer. Lust never satisfies. The desires in our hearts are calling us to something noble and good. All of us are in need of the redemption of our desires. When we open our desires to Jesus, He draws them out, unfolds them and redeems them. Jesus never repressed authentic desire. The answer to lust is not repression but ongoing redemption, conversion and true love.
Virginity isn't something to be exploited nor lamented. It makes me cringe (although I am not at all surprised) that the man on the TLC show who is remaining a virgin for religious reasons is protrayed as being eccentric and nerdy. Of course weird religious zealots are all like that.... (insert eye-roll here).
Our sexualiy, our masculiniy and femininity, is a gift given to us by God. When we use the spousal meaning of our bodies as it was meant to be used (as a beautiful expression of eternal love and life; making a complete gift of ourselves) the gift brings closeness, intimacy and beauty.When we misuse the gift and try to make the rules ourselves, we bring destruction upon ourselves.
Those who are virgins are not animals in the zoo or artifacts in a museum. Things that are valuable are veiled and must be kept as sacred. It doesn't seem to me that The Virgin Diaries seeks to uphold the gift, but exploits it for a few bucks.
We can do better.